Wordless Wednesday: Pillow Talk

She He get it from her his momma Daddy

No there will be no talk of eyes, thighs, or all those other things that are inappropriate for young viewers. I've just been finding myself amused with all the "interesting" things that daddy's seem to pass on to their boys.
Things like:


Nose picking,


Toe nail chewing,


and running around in the nude.

Perhaps while I'm chasing H around with a rolling pin gently asking H not to encourage the boys to eat the boogers, I should remember the things they are getting from their daddy that make my heart smile.


Yep.
My little men spend half their day being gross boys and wrestling and the other half burping babies and pushing them around in strollers. They aspire to be attentive, loving parents.
They get it from their daddy :) and maybe having a big sister helps.. just a little.

Out Takes: dialogue and commentary

Teijah M. {crying}
Rowan E. : What?!? You're not hurt! You just closed your penis in the drawer!

Seriously?! Now I don't have a penis... but I'm pretty sure closing it in a drawer would be a pretty big deal

Me: {takes scavenged old hot dog from baby}
Baby: {cries & chases me, pulling his hair}
Me: "Yes. I know it's all very sad. You liked the hot dog, but you can't eat rancid old hot dogs."
Baby : {walks away from me complaining}
Me: "Would you like some booby instead? You can always have booby."
Baby: {turns around quickly, shoots arms up in the air so far he's almost leaning backwards, toddles to me at full force}
Me: {giggles}

What? why are there old hot dogs... well because I have children... they like to hide things and save them for later...

Teijah: {frantically screaming}
Me: {seeks out screaming banshee child to investigate}
Teijah: {eyes shut tight... still screaming frantically}
Ori: {watches with a curious slightly amused look on his face}
Me: {sighs} "Oh man Teijah! I can't believe you sprayed OxyClean in your eye, AGAIN!

Sheesh! Someone should seriously watch these children... or you know, learn to turn the OxyClean sprayer to the "off" position.

Me: {reading random bed time story to all three children}
Teijah: {suddenly looking very concerned and worried as he stares at his sister}
Me: {giggling}"What's the matter Teijah?"
Teijah: Oh no! See!? Teijah's mouth broke!" {points to his sister's newly toothless grin}
Me: {laughing hysterically}
Teijah: {looking offended}
Me: Rory's mouth isn't broken! She just lost her front tooth, that happens when you get big.
Teijah: {satisfied and informed} "Oh."

*lol* No that wasn't a typo. He calls her Teijah... he knows that it's not her name... we don't know why he does it. What gets me is she lost 4 teeth before and he apparently never noticed the difference until the first top front tooth came out... *giggles* that and the genuine look of worry... like something was terribly, terribly wrong that suddenly swept across his face...

Repeat offender...

*sighs* so Ori and I were just hanging out on the kitchen floor, chatting about drool, balls, cars, and whatever "AH" means. All was good, he was eating yogurt snacks out of my hand, and insisting on sitting in my lap... but not on my lap facing away from me, on my lap facing towards me so he could gaze at my face and pet me as we talk... because he's just intimate like that. So we're snuggling and chatting it up and all of a sudden I notice his patented gagging, "help me mom! I'm choking!' face. Knowing that my house is absolutely clean {more on that later} I was not terribly worried, I figured his yogurt snack went down the wrong way or something.. baby appears to spit out suspect yogurt snack & I assumed all is well. *sighs* But all was not well. Then, I remembered that Ori managed to steal Teijah's hot dog {which I then stole from him} a few minutes before, so I begin the throat swiping ritual... searching for a rogue hot dog skin. Nothing. Ori is still gagging, & making some weird low gurgling sound, I continue to swipe his throat {Teijah jumps on my back *grumbles*}. After explaining to Teijah that baby is choking and this is so not the time to play, baby starts to vomit... and he vomits again and again. Finally out comes a freaking sticker... one of those stupid shiny metallic stickers... with Cinderella on it. *ARG* Rowan E... and her stupid stickers. It would be safe to assume that stickers are officially banned from this house.
*ahem*

Of pancakes and Funbags...

So if you follow me on twitter you know that my pancake making this morning led me to thinking about the future state of my boobs. I suppose giggling would be a better way to put it. Either way, the point of the matter is that after years of glorious, spectacular service the girls feel they have been abused {oddly by their purpose.. but whatever} and they aren't going to take it anymore. They will be saggy, lack substance, and need good push-up/cross back/ front snap bras... and of course only the best will do... otherwise they will {of course} look like I breast fed 3 kids {2 of them over a year} because they hate me.
And you know what? That's fine with me dear beastestes. I hate you too.
I can wait for you to shrink down to the B cup that I haven't seen since 5th grade.
Don't get me wrong. You were fun once... I guess, you were spectacular, so much so that I was okay with the fact you choked me when I laid down. We had a great run. And I'm thrilled that I used to flash people, go bra-less, and celebrate you and your bounty as much as possible when you were still amazing. But now? Not so much.
Now I think big boobs are just gross... you have indeed over stayed your welcome... swelling to the size and hardness of large cantaloupes, leaking all over my bed, dripping on my feet... spraying the baby in the eye {okay, okay, that was pretty funny} but I digress.
And I fantasize about the time when I'll be able to "tape" you down to my chest.. and see my feet... the marvelous era of the pancake boobs.

and yet another reason why money is evil...

So I just pulled a penny out of Ori throat. Yeah. I suppose 1 out of 3 isn't bad, neither of Ori's siblings have ever been stupid uh.. clever enough to actually choke on pocket change. Scary, just the right size to completely cover the airway, and never come out: pocket change. {Rowan E. did however, risk it all for Dorritos. Twice.} As he was suddenly gagging he turned around and gave me the cutest, desperate "save me mom!" look ever. I swiped his throat and couldn't find it but luckily ramming my finger down swiping his throat did seem to induced vomiting which forced the darned thing out. Now all is well, you know, now that there are not any choking babies and I yelled at Teijah about leaving money on the now vomited on floor. I'm just saying things like this aren't helping the argument against the whole money is evil thing...

Lifes a beach...

Once upon a time when our little family still lived at my mothers (after a series of unfortunate events) we would set aside one day each weekend to ride our bikes 15 miles to the beach with our (or rather my) still low in number children in tow.
*ahem* I feel that I should point out that I don't think the addition of one more really puts me in the ranks John & Kate (Though My Love is getting close, his tally is currently at 5) or Michelle Duggar but for some reason (ironically) in our go bigger or go home society people (a LOT of people.. seriously, EVERY time I go out with all of them) start asking "Are they all yours?" once you get to #3. Sometimes I think maybe they are just trying to be nice, you know, because I definitely look like I had three kids. Moving on...
So every Sunday the four of us set off with minimal beach equipment and ample water, the children happily loaded into their cart, My Love and I on our rusty but reliable (and very heavy) bicycles, me in my huge grandma shorts *lol*. It was always awesome, lots of good exercise, Teijah loved the water and eating the sand, Rowan E. freaked out and was scared of the water, and we all were looking tan shiny and healthy. Then we had a fortunate turn of events and were able to get our own house, but it was much to far from the beach and our little family was unfortunately out of our short lived tradition.
And then Mark came to visit....

Sorry I have no idea who's butt that is, I didn't even notice she was there when I was taking the picture *giggles* and now her brightly flowered bum is part of our family memories forever... let this be a lesson to anyone bending over at the beach. It is always better to sit when collecting shells...
*sighs* Of course I'm going to have to name her... or at least her fanny.
Of course Mark, who hasn't lived in Florida most of his life and does not have ocean beaches at his disposal was very adamant about going to the beach. The first day I sent them (Mark, My Love, and My Love's 3rd baby's(our sometimes Y number 1A lol) mama Sara), off with my car. The next day when the boy's wanted to go again I decided to go as well despite my lack of bathing suit. It of course was fantabulous.
The six of us packed into my 5 seat Kia Sephia, and with Mark driving headed towards Sanibel Island. On the way there we paid $7 in tolls made a quick stop to pick up an awesome guitar that Mark found for us on Craiglist for $20 *thanks Mark, and is still totally doing the happy dance* and at a little mom and pop shop to pick up more water and some yummy fried chicken that Mark got a great deal on.
Rory had to go potty of course so the boys went ahead of us.
Walking down the walk to the beach I saw this:


...and a warm happiness filled my heart. I could hear a child crying in the distance, so I looked around and thought "well that's certainly not Teijah! He must be so happy to be in the water again."
as I walked closer I still couldn't figure out where the crying was coming from and then I saw my son's twisted grimace. He was not happy. He was freaked out and most certainly did not want to be in the water. So I did what anyone would do, I picked him up and walking further out into the water laughing and jumping as the waves crashed against it. He bought it too and way belly laughing right along with my, that is until the wave that was taller than his 5'1 mommy and he got water in his face... his current phobia/annoyance. And so that was it, then Teijah spent the rest of his time at the beach like this:


Except for when he "borrowed" someone's beach toys


Oh and yes, all my very musical children can keep a beat/rhythm... Just in case you were wondering.

With in seconds of hitting the sand Rory looked around quickly, like she had a radar device in her head, and found the first kid she could see. Once her target was sighted she ran over and made friends. And her time at the beach was spent as such:


I'm going to have to watch out for that girl...


Little Ori loved the water and My Love even boasted that he laid flat in the water (Which is a big deal to him, Teijah never did he always was trying to keep his head out of the water, you know; because he has survival skills and this would never happen to him.)


When he grew over stimulated and was done with the sun he hung out like this in the stroller:

And because I always think of little Stellan every time Ori does something for the first time (they are close in age) before we left I couldn't help but to write his name in the sand:


And on the way home we stopped at a Chick-fil-A drive thru so we could finally see what the big deal was. After we got home Mark and My Love got dolled up to go have a boys night out with My Loves poppy and the kids and I settled around our coffee table to munch on our yummy Chick-fil-A feast (which came complete with shakes which were so worth the suffering) and watch Princess Protection Program.

We have totally decided to readopt our family tradition, but if we're planning on adding Chick-fil-A to our beach fun we'll have to switch to Saturdays since they are a Christian run corporation and are closed on Sunday's... which is as neat as it is inconvenient. *grins*

Now I seriously need to find a job to support my newly found Chick-fil-A habit... and you know, so I can buy car seats.

His brother's keeper

I was busying away in the kitchen making some nutty banapple pancakes and Ori had and his crankiness had found their way to the kitchen, sat up, and did that thing where he refuses to move but will sit there and make strange animal noises until someone picks him up. Since it was way too early in the morning and I knew I had no time to deal with him and his plump grumpiness I pick him up and plopped his chunkiness on the counter next to me so I could continue on with my pancake process.
Then I hear a beautifully round toddler voice ask:"Mom? Baby?"
So I answer: "The baby is in the kitchen with me Teijah."
To that he responded: "No. mom, PLAY!"
Giggling I asked: "You want the baby to play with you, Teijah"
He answered with a very serious: "yeah, mom. baby PLAY!"
Still giggling: "Alright Teijah,you can play with baby."
With that Teijah ran off to get his bucket of cars and I picked up "little" Ori and brought him into the living to play with his very eager big brother.
*smiles* Awesome.
Teijah really is an amazing big brother... and it's a good thing too,
especially since (and it's no secret but it certainly will be later) we had him for Teijah. That's right my only "planned" baby was for the benefit of my other baby *lol*. The five (4 at the time) year old's kept excluding him, he even got pushed off the top bunk once... ridiculous. It makes me so happy to see how well it is working out, and he appears to be very happy and willing to share his toys be his brother's keeper.