Wednesday, August 12, 2009

...and the journey begins.

Tomorrow marks a new journey, one that begins with passing up the rare chance to sleep in so that I can drive panicked and white knuckled for an hour to our not so local mental health clinic. As I have hinted or possibly bluntly stated before something is just not right... it hasn't been for a long time and now it has grown to a head so to speak. I'd rather not get all emo about it. It's just not my thing. It is simply time for me to take care of me. And so tomorrow I'm going to wake up bright and early... and start this new journey to a whole, healthier, more "me" me.. get it? The funny thing is despite my previous resolve and understanding of the whole yes I need to get help thing... now it seems silly, like I'm supposed to go talk to a stranger and be all poor me? I know it's not actually like that but it just seems silly now.
For now I'm just trying to focus on how not silly it's going to seem when I'm closer to my "normal" state, when I'm not so easily frustrated with my children, when I can keep up with and enjoy life...
And so..
I am sucking it up.
I am cleaning my house.
And tomorrow I'll be taking the plunge... and you know... pretending driving doesn't totally freak me out.
{But for now I'm off to the store to get some sort of sugary pastry breakfast to go with my coffee and Pilates at before the sun come up in the morning. *giggles*}

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