...and the journey begins.

Tomorrow marks a new journey, one that begins with passing up the rare chance to sleep in so that I can drive panicked and white knuckled for an hour to our not so local mental health clinic. As I have hinted or possibly bluntly stated before something is just not right... it hasn't been for a long time and now it has grown to a head so to speak. I'd rather not get all emo about it. It's just not my thing. It is simply time for me to take care of me. And so tomorrow I'm going to wake up bright and early... and start this new journey to a whole, healthier, more "me" me.. get it? The funny thing is despite my previous resolve and understanding of the whole yes I need to get help thing... now it seems silly, like I'm supposed to go talk to a stranger and be all poor me? I know it's not actually like that but it just seems silly now.
For now I'm just trying to focus on how not silly it's going to seem when I'm closer to my "normal" state, when I'm not so easily frustrated with my children, when I can keep up with and enjoy life...
And so..
I am sucking it up.
I am cleaning my house.
And tomorrow I'll be taking the plunge... and you know... pretending driving doesn't totally freak me out.
{But for now I'm off to the store to get some sort of sugary pastry breakfast to go with my coffee and Pilates at before the sun come up in the morning. *giggles*}

The return of: Not Me! Monday

So it's no secret I've been gone for awhile... I've been busy/out of touch/whatever... not inspired. But I've decided (as I often do) to try the "fake it till you make it" approach in an attempt to be a functional... well... anything. And so now with out much more ado I bring you...



That right! Not me! Monday; that stupendous blog carnival set in to motion by the fabulous Mckmama in an attempt to free our minds of countless indiscretions and oh no he di'nt moments while we share the wonderfulness that is mommy-dom... or you know, not.

I have not waited to the absolute last minute to enroll Rowan E. in school... the last minute would technically be Friday and Friday hasn't happened yet... but... I of course was on top of my mommy job and enrolled her way back in January...

I have not totally decided that it's absolutely okay for her to go to public school because I most certainly need a break.

I would never let my children run around in the nude, so of course there are never accidents on the floor... and I certainly wouldn't blog about it.

I am not absolutely ecstatic that Teijah has stopped forcing himself to poo 5 to 6 times a day just to get poosnacks..
He also has not worn diapers at sleep times for over a week.

And finally... since I know all children are different and uniquely special I my concern did not suddenly become overwhelming and I did not frantically Google the term micropenis and research all day. *sighs* I am not even going to go there... but I will say I'm so not concerned now... and ew... serious ew.

So want to get on all the Not me! fun? Head on over to Mckmama's blog for all the detail and to see what she, and every one else is not doing.

Oh baby, baby...

Oops!
... He did it again.
He peed on the flooo-or
Hes. Just. Not. Potty trained...

*giggles*

If someone were to come unannounced (okay, okay.. and sometimes with days notice) chances are my boys would be nonchalantly frolicking in their birthday suits. That's just the way we roll. Naked is normal, natural and the way we were all born; I have often pointed out that "if it wasn't okay to be naked, you'd be born with clothes on.. *sighs* I just feel that being comfortable (aka not prude) with their tiny bodies is the beginning of a healthy body image (or even just plain being happy with what they've got) later in life. But I digress, I am not campaigning for a less prude America... there are too many sickos out there.

moving on...

An obvious side effect of all this streaking is the frequent occasional incident where Ori A. a child who will remain nameless pees and/or poos on the floor. On our tile floor...

Now despite the initial frustration that I have to clean the floor.. again, or at least that I should; I'm really starting to think this naked baby thing is really one of the best things to incorporate into my "potty awareness" repartee. Now you may say: "Okay, seriously, Queen Dani, Seriously?" (you know if your kids love Demi Lovato like mine do) or you may borrow one from my book and say "Peeing on the floor is so the opposite of potty training, you silly Dani." And well I'd have to disagree. You see when he's urinating (and hopefully not pooping) on the floor... he always notices. He stops what he's doing he watches, sometimes he looks at me, and then I exclaim "you're peeing on the FLOOR" like it's the best thing ever. He smiles stares at his puddle, and then I try to rush over and grab him before he plops on to his baby ba-dunk-a-dunk bottom and starts finger painting swooshing it around.

I don't always make it.

But like I said he always notices and that's a big deal. Being aware is one of the first steps in potty training whether you're early potty training or waiting until your child is ready and they also happen to be 3 (or four or whatever).

*sighs* Now if I could just get the timing down so I can get him to go in the toilet so we can get some "toilet association" started. We started Teijah (around 6 months, when he could sit) by sitting him on the toilet when he woke up... but Teijah pretty much woke up to pee and was finicky about his diapers, he learned pretty quickly that we wanted him to pee on the potty and would even force some out when he was seated... but we weren't strict with it.. the idea was for him to just get the idea so that when he could tell he needed to go the transition would be easier.

Ori just thinks it's hilarious to sit on the toilet. He prefers to pee standing on the floor...
maybe that's the miniature macho man inside him...
sitting, squatting and the like are for the lady folk...
*giggles*

so you see sometimes peeing on the floor is good..
you know, as long as they don't know better.

I love the internet....

So just for fun and gearing up for my evaluation on the fourteenth I figured I'd do some of those free online self checks...

this is the advice the internet gave me:
"Your score was 37 out of a possible 45.

These answers indicate that you have severe depression. Please seek out a therapist to talk about this. If this is not possible or you are not comfortable with this, please call your nearest suicide hotline.You may also find it helpful to repeat this test from time to time; tracking your score and your responses may help you recognize when depression is beginning to build, or perhaps to understand what events might trigger your depression.

This test was adapted from The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. If you found this test useful, you may want to buy this book; it has many useful suggestions for dealing with depression."

thanks internet... thanks alot.

Because I'm crazy for that cow....

So we were on a somewhat routine shopping trip this morning trying to quickly grab whatever we needed because the kids still had not had breakfast,
(yes, I'm that mom - shush we were at the store to get breakfast...)
{and free cookies}
and Teijah tends to be so ravenous (you, know when he is actually hungry and willing to eat) that he tries to open all sorts of packages with his teeth in an attempt to satisfy said hunger. If we are not quick when he is experiencing said raging hunger that results in a remembrance of his hunt and gather instincts... well lets just say I imagine it would result in me being forced to hide buy a lot of half eaten merchandise.
So any way there we were, rushing around with the cart that is way too huge that Teijah insists on getting even though he always decides to walk 2 minutes later...
We ran towards the dairy section and grabbed a few varieties of pre-made yogurt then we headed over to the organic dairy section to pick my soy milk (which isn't organic anymore apparently... bastards. When I started drinking it the box always read *filtered water, *organic soybeans, etc., and then I see this new green {not pretty btw} box of "Organic Silk". Whatever.) While I reached out for my *not organic* soy milk I thought it would be cute to get the baby some of his own gimmicky baby yogurt so I scanned the organic baby varieties and much to my surprise found this:


and I said to myself {yes, out loud} well that's pretty awesome. You see I've been randomly sneaking veggies into baby's whatever doesn't usually have veg via these Happy Baby spinach and fruit cubes {which I don't entirely ♥ btw, way too watery. My homemade food has substance and I was really hoping the "just like homemade" stuff would too. So what I do is after it has had it's 30 seconds in the microwave and before I stir, I drain off the excess water and then mix it into say fresh banana, and plain yogurt, or my frozen bannappley yogurt oatmeal cubes.}
*ahem*
so anyway I scan the ingredients for any offenders, decide this may be the best thing ever, then place one of each {of 2 kinds they had} into my cart. Awesomeness.

We check out, weigh everyone, and of course a few "drinkable" yogurts were passed to the starving children in the car... they turned down the apples, they wanted more artificially flavoured and dyed yogurt... tough cookies I say.
So we get home.
I get everything situated while children chant things like "have some please mom" and try to open more yogurts with their teeth. I set the older children up with their greek {not artificially flavoured & dyed} yogurt, orange juice and a doughnut of their picking {yes, doughnuts.}
Then I took pictures of the baby yogurt. Why? because I'm nuts.
And while I was photographing the boxes I notices that *tee.hee.hee* this is not Stoneyfield after all... It's Horizon... an right there on the box is my favourite little cow. I of course can not believe I didn't notice in the store, but am psyched. I love that cow! I love that it's skim milk has the substance of whole... that's a sign of some very happy cows folks.I also love how it never seems to irritate my lactose intolerance as much as "regular" milk. One day that happy cow's milk will be the only milk that passes through my kiddies lips... but for now *grrr* The government buys my milk and apparently my kids aren't good enough for organic.
moving on...
Then it was "little" man's turn
{did I mention he's walking.. or toddling really he's pretty wobbly sometimes, but seriously he's 7 months old give the kid a break.}


He's also pretty mad in this picture, am sure he's thinking:
"why does she keep taking pictures instead of feeding me!"
Except I also imagine that he swears and calls me vial woman... like Stewie.


Notice now he see's the food and is now looking hopeful.
Notice also how I manage to get consistent blurry backgrounds with my crappy point and click. I wouldn't exactly call it bokeh... but I'm still pretty proud that I figured it out. You see really it's all about the closeness of the camera and the half button focus.
moving on
So I decided to let him try the strawberry carrot first.


*Yum* It looks creamy and promising.


*giggles* I missed his mouth trying to get a picture.


There that's better... he totally "baby birded it" for every bite. And he ate the whole four ounces...
See?


{and see there's that consentrated focus/blurry back ground thing again - just not quite where I wanted it *sighs* a point and shoot can only do so much}


So any way here's the gimmick:
*It is yogurt with fruit AND a veg.
*it comes in 3 flavours: banana sweet potato, strawberry carrot, butternut squash apple
*and if you go here now you can get a coupon.
{there is also currently a coupon on the package.. :( but I totally ripped mine.}
* they are DHA enriched but not via a supplement of synthetic source, they use Algal oil from algea - so this yogurt is ok for lacto-vegetarians} - No this is a big deal because it means that the DHA is 100% bioavailable... for those of you that didn't just finish a nutrition class *grins* bioavailablity is how much of what ever you are intacking actually can be used - or is available to the body. So all food sources are always 100% while supplements are only maybe 30% bioavailable... get it?
*they come in cute 4 oz containers
*What can I say... I love the cow... it makes me happy.

Oh one thing though... it does have sugar... I felt a little tricked when I scanned the ingredient a second time at home. As you know {or don't know but are about to} I've been trying to kick the sugar out of our home and one of the ways I've been working on it is to find ways to cook fruits and veg to bring out their natural sweetness ... so the unexpected *unbleached cane sugar* sighting made me cringe a little. It is the 5th ingredient though. It's the third {of like 20} in Danimals, and the second in the greek yogurt we bought today, so I'm going with it's not that bad, and it's placement on the list means it's scant.... and Ori absolutely ♥ -ed it.
All in all I think that it's an awesome edition to our homemade stuff.
So check it out,
show the cow some love {I really &hearts that cow!},
{and sneak your kids some veggies too!}