Not me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama, one of the few mamas who's blogs I have been obsessing over following lately. You can visit her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Let the carnival begin! *lol*

I will start by making it perfectly clear that when "that woman" stared at my stomach this weekend I did not contemplate voluntary anorexia, just so I could be skinny and then stare at her stomach and ask when she was going to loose the weight, and I absolutely did not think it would be much funnier if I (instead of starving myself) just blurted out "yes, I am pregnant again" (even though it would be a lie) just to get a reaction out of her.

I also did not blow a whole semester of school... and upon finishing said semester I did not receive an email letting me know that I was not being put on probation (like i had thought) instead I was completely losing my financial aid and that unless I appeal before the next semester I plan on attending... (that one I'm registered for already that starts Wednesday) I will be required to pay back the full amount I received for the last semester...

I most certainly did not go to the store to make a nice healthy fresh dinner for the children and me, only to come home and decide cake and ice cream would be fine, and of course I would never eat half a mini lemon creme cake all by myself...

I am not currently - or never will I be plotting to make my children cry and plead: "please let mommy go to school" when we go to my college for absolutely no reason tomorrow, and I am not planning on going to sleep early just so I can avoid telling My Love about the absolutely nothing that is going on with my financial aid, and I am of course not in constant silent prayer that it will all work out.

I have also never had to clean up poop.... three times in one day that was completely filled with Styrofoam balls (and I didn't misspell Styrofoam 10 times)and I would never get down on all fours to inspect said "seedy poop" upon it's first deposit. It also would not take me until the last poo clean up to realize that it was not in fact pepper seeds and that it was the result of a certain little man who shall remain nameless - Teijah, chewing - or apparently eating Styrofoam. After not cleaning up this nonexistent poo I did not go on a rant about how dogs poo around the house and chew everything up - not little boys and I don't like dogs in my house, and I did not secretly think the Styrofoam poop was hilarious, because that would just be wrong...